.

I signed no contracts.
I swore no oath.
But I made a promise
To have and to hold
To love and to cherish
Till death do us part.
How many times have I heard that long distance love doesn’t work?
And how many times have I talked to my soldier,
Exhausted beyond belief,
But there for me, none the less,
Just calling to make sure I know
I am loved?
He signed the contract,
Swore the oath,
Made the promise,
To do his duty,
To do his job.
He made another promise,
To love and to cherish
Till death do us part.
I am proud of him
For keeping them both.

Too long since the last post!

I have nothing to say, but I feel like writing. I was feeling kind of down all day today. I don't know what's wrong with me. How do military couples deal with this separation stuff all the time? I think I just get angry sometimes, because I feel like I'm not going anywhere. I feel like time isn't going by. What scares me is if when Tony comes home, and I'm still unhappy. But, I know that it really isn't that bad. I'm just PMSing and being all melodramatic. Tony makes me happy. He makes me giddy. Everything is funnier when he is around, and he makes me feel safe. I couldn't ask for a better husband, or a better friend.

I was thinking today, about how I never feel totally and completely comfortable, like I'm never in my own skin. It scares me sometimes, because I have this sort of internal voice whispering that I don't quite belong. So, I was thinking about all this and wondering if I will ever feel comfortable in this life. It made me think of something in Hebrews 11:13

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth.

The new testament talks a lot about how Christians are strangers or aliens in the world because we were created to be with God, not to be separated from Him. So, basically, I'm never going to feel completely comfortable in my own skin as long as I am on earth. There's always going to be something missing, something that only God can fill. I guess that means that I don't want to be comfortable and complacent. I don't want to just settle. At least, no matter what, I'll always have this promise:

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."