So, here we are, in the last couple of months of deployment. Before long, I'll be jumping every time the phone rings, hoping this call will tell me when and where to go pick up my soldier. I've been hearing so much about how difficult the whole homecoming thing is, and to be honest, I'm a little nervous. I've been looking forward to Tony coming home since before he left. I've thought about it, dreamed about it, talked about it, wrote about it. And yet, there's a little voice in the back of my head whispering all sorts of negative things. What if he doesn't like how I've set up house? What if he doesn't like how I've spent our money? What if we don't know how to get along any more? What if he notices the weight I've put on and thinks I'm unattractive?

Writing out all of my ridiculous insecurities I can see how, well, ridiculous they are. Tony and I have been very fortunae through this deployment in that we've been able to talk on the phone and/or internet almost every day. We've learned things about each other in the course of a few months that it may have taken us years to learn otherwise. We've spoken more to each other than many couples do through their entire marriages. Most importantly, I know that Tony loves me. He does everything he possibly can to make sure I know this. Even so, I'm nervous. I want to be a good wife, to be supportive and understanding. I want him to be proud of me. I can't help but to worry, watching so many marriages fall apart around us. Army wives have kind of a bad rap, and sometimes... I can see why. I want to be the exception.